The Glorification of "Busy"
Spare me the small talk - I don’t want to hear how busy you are. I’ve been there, done that, and realized it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. And nobody cares but you. It’s about time we reclaim small talk and our schedules and make them both a lot more enjoyable.
I’m not one for small talk.
The mere thought of it actually makes me want to avoid the grocery store, and any other situation that casually involves telling people how you are in passing.
Enter conversation…
“How are you?”
”Good Busy - You?”
”Good, Really Busy!”
End (wildly informative and very enlightening) conversation…
It takes everything in me not to want to yell BULLSH*T, or extend a hug to their clear hurt, but to keep the peace and societal norms I instead force a smile and turn down the next aisle, once again questioning the communication of humanity.
When in the world did the words ‘Good, Busy’ become glamorous, or even acceptable descriptive words for our lives?
As a child, I distinctly remember being taught basic expressions in French. Bien… good, Tres Bien … really good, Comme-Ci, Comme-Ça … so-so, Fatigue… tired. Strangely, not once do I remember being taught the word busy; and I definitely don’t remember being taught to glorify it.
But we have, and we do.
Please, next time we meet spare me the agony and tell me how you really are, but don’t just tell me that you’re busy.
If you’re good, that’s great - but don’t pretend.
If you’re okay, that okay, be prepared for help, or a listening ear.
If you’re overwhelmed, or exhausted, say so. You need to get it off your chest.
If you’re burdened or struggling, say so.
But the thing is, people don’t - because everyone is too busy - because they don’t want to be a burden to everyone and their good, busy lives. And we wonder why suicide rates are on the rise, why depression and anxiety are so prevalent. Yet we don’t create the space to hear others, we instead heighten the fact that we don’t have time.
If you’re good, you’re good. If you’re busy, fine, you’re busy. But if you’re just busy and not actually good, or just good and not actually busy, don’t glorify either.
What if…
What if we just told people the truth?
I bet you’d give yourself permission to be yourself - and it would give you the opportunity to help others. It would certainly make small talk a little more honest, and a lot more bearable, and dare I even say, enjoyable.
The burden of busyness will only be eliminated when we stop glorifying it.
Or, what if, instead of busy, we made it acceptable to tell people we are happy.
Just imagine how small talk would change if instead telling others we are ‘busy' to pretend life is ‘good', we strive to live for happiness and being happy was glorified.
I mean really, how many times have you actually been really great, but afraid to admit it?
What if the person you are conversing with is not good, and you tell them you are happy? What if you make them feel guilty…?
But, what if you give them permission to be happy too?
How much more freeing and encouraging would it be during casual small talk if instead of ‘busy’, someone earnestly told you that they were happy? What if you were able to share what makes you smile, the true goodness going on in your life without guilt, shame, or fear of coming across as boastful?
How much better would life be?
I’m willing to bet a whole lot happier, and a lot less busier.
Beating the glorification of busy will only come from realizing that busyness does not directly equate to happiness, nor does happiness directly relate to busyness. It’s time we celebrate happiness in whatever form and fashion that is, for ourselves, and for those around us.
Let’s get real, let’s be happy, let’s reclaim small-town, down-home small talk with honesty, intentionality, and happiness.
My posts are my stories - but I end them with a thought provoking question for you to change your own story.
What if you actually told people how you really were, and listened in return?
What if, you made it your mission to be happy instead of busy?
Need some help with this? I’ve created a 3 day course on Saying Yes to Less (so you can be less busy, and more happy) and it’s completely free! Click Here to download it and start today (because more HAPPY is waiting for you!).
xo,
Brady